F Wanting
by JLo10131121
Summary: Brian ruminates on his relationship with Michael.


Fuck Wanting

No one understands. No one could ever understand. What am I talking about, you ask? Mikey and I's relationship. Complex though it may be, we have a relationship no one could possibly comprehend. It's a give and take of sorts. He's Lois to my Superman. Bonnie to my Clyde. No matter what, I know he'll always be there for me. And I for him. He pulls my plug and I pull his.

Some people, namely everyone we know and hate, believe I fuck with him, his mind, his heart, his love. I admit it. Mikey has loved me since we were 14 and I know it. How can I not? But for the last 17 years I have ignored it, pretended it didn't exist. Michael is my best friend, and you don't fuck your best friend. Under any circumstances. Debbie, Ted, Emmett, even the munchers think I should just leave Mikey be. Let him find love. Fuck love. You can't trust anything that isn't tangible. I've learned that the hard way over the years, since my parents and their dysfunctional child-rearing ways. The only thing you can trust is lust. And contrary to what most dumb fucks think, I am not ruled by my dick. I rule it. For the most part. Dr. Dick didn't do it for Mikey. Neither did Benjamin fucking Bunny. Actually, they're still together, much to my displeasure. And not for lack of trying. But you get the picture.

No one is good enough for my Mikey. No one. I don't think anyone is good enough for him. Deb has accused me of wanting to keep Mikey at 14, forever an innocent child, forever in love with me. Some part of me, I admit, wants to keep him that way, but not for the reasons they think. Ted, Emmett, Linds, they've all told me at one point or another that I am a selfish prick, a bastard who wants Michael to myself because I like the tag-along. Bullshit. I've barely been able to admit this to myself, so why the fuck would I admit it to anyone else, let alone Deb or one of our friends? But the reason I keep Michael close to me and constantly remind him of his comics, his little obsessions, keeping him at 14, is because to see him as a man would break our friendship.

To see him as a man. . . Mikey is fucking hot. I've told him that a million times. Those big chocolate eyes, silky raven hair, all that fair skin, those lush red lips that beg to be bitten, licked, and sucked on. . . Just thinking about it is making me hard. Fuck. Just what I need, another boner that won't go away, no matter how long I beat the wood, or get sucked or fuck. I've got a secret. I lust after Michael, my best friend. The majority of the time I've been with a trick or two or three at a time, I've been thinking of Michael. I close my eyes and see his face, feel his lips around my cock, his ass enveloping my cock, welcoming me into his tight warmth. How fucked up is that? 17 years of friendship could go down the drain all because my dick likes Mikey a bit too much.

So I push him away, laugh at him, call him pathetic. When in reality it is me who is pathetic. Pathetic for wanting him and not telling him. It is the only way for me to keep him at arm's length. Otherwise, with all the damn sexual tension I've been feeling over the last decade or so, I just might fuck him in the middle of Babylon. Mmmm, what a yummy idea. Mikey as dessert. . . See what I mean? Lately the craving has been getting stronger. I've always kissed and cuddled with Michael. I couldn't help it. Fuck, if I wasn't going to fuck him, the least I could get were a few kisses and caresses. But lately, the kisses have been more intense, more tongue, more licking, biting, sucking, nipping. It's almost as if I'm trying to devour him. And I am. The caresses in the middle of Babylon's dance floor have gotten thisclose to being pornographic, just shy of being foreplay. Fuck that. I'm gonna call it like it is because I don't lie, or at least not to myself. It is foreplay. I've groped his crotch, played with his sweet little nipples, and on more than one occasion, ran a finger down his crack teasingly. Heard his breath catch in that sweet way when he's aroused. Just thinking about it is making this ache unbearable. I shudder at the sensory replay that is commencing along my fingertips and in my mind. I want Michael like I have never wanted anyone in my life, more than Sunshine, more than the next trick. And I'm going to have him, I think suddenly. Fuck being noble and good. I'm Brian Kinney, for fuck's sake. I take what I want. And I want Michael. I break out of my thoughts because I hear the soft knock at the door of the loft. There's Mikey. It's time for me to get what I've been wanting 17 long years for. Fuck wanting, I think as I walk to the door to let Michael in, a feral grin on my face.


End file.
